How Does it Feel to Feel Safe?

Without an embodied sense of safeness within us, we seek it in external things. We try to find safety and self-worth in the best ways we know how — striving, controlling, pleasing and achieving.

Safety relates to being vigilant to potential threats and doing things we believe will help us avoid harm. It is external in nature and action-oriented through the checking, monitoring, protecting, and defending of oneself or others.

Safeness relates to noticing, experiencing and responding to the presence of calming signals in others and our environment. It is internal in nature by drawing our attention to our state of being.

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So how does it feel to feel safe?

• My breathing feels steady, smooth and effortless.

• My body and face feel relaxed.

• My voice feels calm and gentle.

• I feel present and grounded.

• I can rest and relax easily.

• I feel a sense of inner stillness.

• I feel comfortable expressing myself.

• I feel empathy and compassion towards others.

• I feel I have the capacity to take care of others.

• I feel accepted, respected and valued.

• I feel a sense of belonging.

• I feel wanted, loved and cared for.

When we feel safe, we awaken our capacities for curiosity, compassion, intimacy, playfulness and joy. When we feel safe, we free up all the energy that we've been using for threat-detection and self-protection for growth promoting processes. When we feel safe, we no longer need to play it safe.

Text written by psychologist, Nicola Jane Hobbs.