<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" version="2.0"><channel><title><![CDATA[Alexandra Suarez]]></title><description><![CDATA[Empowering connections and intimacy through personalized counseling in Berlin.]]></description><link>https://www.alexandra-suarez.com/blog</link><generator>RSS for Node</generator><lastBuildDate>Sat, 04 Apr 2026 09:12:14 GMT</lastBuildDate><atom:link href="https://www.alexandra-suarez.com/blog-feed.xml" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml"/><item><title><![CDATA[Exercise: Defining Monogamy]]></title><description><![CDATA[Most couples assume they are on the same page about monogamy, but what monogamy actually means can vary significantly from person to person. For some, it refers strictly to sexual exclusivity. For others, it extends to emotional intimacy, online interactions, or even friendships. Without an honest conversation about what this means to each of you, unspoken assumptions can become the source of hurt, betrayal, and conflict down the line.]]></description><link>https://www.alexandra-suarez.com/post/exercise-defining-monogamy</link><guid isPermaLink="false">69d099ef535e7bcd269bfcf0</guid><pubDate>Sat, 04 Apr 2026 05:01:23 GMT</pubDate><dc:creator>Alexandra Suarez</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[When Does Privacy Become Secrecy?]]></title><description><![CDATA[What Is Privacy? Privacy is the right or choice to control your personal information, actions, and boundaries. It’s about deciding who gets access to parts of your life, and under what circumstances. Key Points Rooted in autonomy and dignity Not inherently suspicious Control over personal information It's about managing access, it's not  about hiding wrongdoing Emotion attached: neutral,  healthy Moral weight: usually none Examples: Not sharing your medical records with coworkers. Locking...]]></description><link>https://www.alexandra-suarez.com/post/privacy-vs-secrecy</link><guid isPermaLink="false">69d0905ef7044e6cf7ac940c</guid><pubDate>Sat, 04 Apr 2026 04:17:27 GMT</pubDate><dc:creator>Alexandra Suarez</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Behind Every Criticism There Is An Unmet Wish]]></title><description><![CDATA[One of the most important parts of couples counselling is to shift the communication style from a protective style to one that is vulnerable. We do this by shifting the focus from you to I.   Being vulnerable refers to communicating from a place of emotional openness rather than defensiveness or self-protection. A  protective communication  style often looks like: avoiding uncomfortable topics shutting down or withdrawing getting defensive attacking or blaming to avoid feeling hurt...]]></description><link>https://www.alexandra-suarez.com/post/the-difference-between-protective-and-vulnerable-communication</link><guid isPermaLink="false">69d08bdf535e7bcd269be645</guid><pubDate>Sat, 04 Apr 2026 03:58:55 GMT</pubDate><dc:creator>Alexandra Suarez</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Exercise: Spotting the Parent and Child in Your Relationship]]></title><description><![CDATA[The deep emotional bonds we form with romantic partners can pull us back into familiar patterns, ones that often resemble the parent-child dynamics we experienced growing up. This can happen in any couple, regardless of whether they have children. P.A.C. STATES: PARENT EGO-STATE -  As we grow up we assimilate ideas, values and ways to behave from our caretakers and culture. When I am thinking, feeling and acting in ways that copy one or both of my parents, or another authority figure, I am...]]></description><link>https://www.alexandra-suarez.com/post/exercise-identifying-parent-adult-and-child-ego-states</link><guid isPermaLink="false">69d086db072d140cb956334e</guid><pubDate>Sat, 04 Apr 2026 03:45:14 GMT</pubDate><dc:creator>Alexandra Suarez</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Exercise: Reframing The Problem]]></title><description><![CDATA[The three themes below, often revolving around vulnerability and unmet needs, are at the root of recurring arguments. Exercise: If you and your partner get into an argument,  see if it's possible to reframe the argument from 'What are we fighting about (object)?, to 'What are we fighting for (emotional need)?' The struggle for power, control and agency. The need for closeness, care and trust. The desire for respect and recognition.  Book Recommendation: Fighting For Your Marriage]]></description><link>https://www.alexandra-suarez.com/post/exercise-reframing-the-problem</link><guid isPermaLink="false">69d07eaff7044e6cf7ac7858</guid><pubDate>Sat, 04 Apr 2026 03:12:31 GMT</pubDate><dc:creator>Alexandra Suarez</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[The Golden Equation for Disconnection]]></title><description><![CDATA[Surface Communication: It's Your Fault + I Go Quiet = We're Stuck Surface Behaviour: Pointing Fingers + Shrinking Inward = We Drift Surface Feeling: Blame + Shame = We Fall Apart When I'm in blame mode, I become so focused on what my partner did wrong that I lose sight of what's happening inside of me.  Rather than staying connected to my own discomfort or pain, I externalize it by directing it outward, as a way to protect myself.  In doing so, I disconnect from myself and my own deeper...]]></description><link>https://www.alexandra-suarez.com/post/the-golden-equation-for-disconnection</link><guid isPermaLink="false">69d0793940e74dbec402026c</guid><pubDate>Sat, 04 Apr 2026 02:54:46 GMT</pubDate><dc:creator>Alexandra Suarez</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Differentiation: Grounded in Myself and Connected to You]]></title><description><![CDATA[Differentiation  is a concept developed by psychiatrist Murray Bowen as part of the Family Systems Theory. It describes the ability to stay connected to others while remaining true to our own values, feelings, and sense of self. Bowen believed that differentiation begins in our family of origin. From a young age, we learn how to navigate closeness and distance in relationships. Families that allow for individuality alongside connection tend to foster higher differentiation, while families...]]></description><link>https://www.alexandra-suarez.com/post/differentiation-grounded-in-myself-but-connected-to-you</link><guid isPermaLink="false">69d073a140e74dbec401f8f6</guid><pubDate>Sat, 04 Apr 2026 02:24:09 GMT</pubDate><dc:creator>Alexandra Suarez</dc:creator></item></channel></rss>